Jeremy, a local police officer leads a life of a confusing past, spending his current time searching for his kidnapper as a child. After other children begin missing, Jeremy pieces together the truth and realizes that his childhood kidnapper could be a creature of ancient yuletide lore, Krampus, who is the brother of St. Nick, and punisher of children who perform acts of unspeakable evil without repercussion. Can Jeremy kill Krampus and prevent more missing children? There are 3 types of movies: 1) movies good enough to watch from beginning to end without fast-forwarding; 2) terrible movies where you can't suppress your urge to fast-forward through them; 3) godawful movies where you realize even fast-forwarding through them would be a waste of time.<br/><br/>Kraptacular…er…I mean Krampus the Christmas Devil is in the number 3 category. I started ff-ing 30 minutes in then by 68 minutes I just decided to turn it off. I just said, "Nah, I can't watch this piece of garbage. I have better things to do with my time, like watch water boil." This movie is the very definition of amateur. It looks like the director got an camera, went to his local roadside bar and said, "Hey guys, I have a camera. Wanna make a movie with me?" They asked, "What's in it for us?" He replied, "Free beer." Then they said, "I'm in." Seriously. I 100% believe that's how it happened.<br/><br/>Acting: homeless people off the street couldn't be worse.<br/><br/>Dialogue: cringeworthy (and that's being generous).<br/><br/>Suspense: none.<br/><br/>Scariness of the monster: looks like they bought it entirely from Walmart, including the mask. Even a junior high kid could make a better costume (and a better movie).<br/><br/>Quality of the kills: even the average Found Footage is more graphic.<br/><br/>This movie is so awful I actually asked IMDb if they could allow reviewers to give a negative or a 0-star rating. Still no reply. But I'm sure if they saw this movie they'd allow reviewers at least to make 0-stars. KRAMPUS: THE CHRISTMAS DEVIL is another slice of indie trash cashing in on the now-popular Krampus legend. The story is about a bald cop with a sinister past who investigates the recurrence of a number of missing children cases and soon finds that there might be a supernatural explanation. I had high hopes for this story's plot, but in the end it turns out to be another boring exercise in torture porn tedium, with bad acting throughout and below-par production values. Indie regular Bill Oberst Jr. is the best thing in this but has little to do.
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344 weeks ago